Standing alone, but never alone: the strength of a father with an army of love

It takes a village

Becoming a single father. To many, it may sound like a heavy, almost impossible task—especially in our situation, as if I now have to climb a mountain on my own whose summit no one has ever seen. But despite my great loss, “alone” does not mean that I stand by myself.

A loving friend of Kelly’s (herself a mother) has always said: It takes a village. Meaning that a child is raised by an entire social circle. I believe in that too. And I know for sure that there will be many “aunties” ready to stand beside us.

The army: loving aunties, loyal friends, devoted family. People who will undoubtedly stand by me and who will soon care just as deeply, think along just as much, and share just as fully in the joy. Our child may have one parent, but will grow up surrounded by an entire circle of love.

I also think it would be very beautiful if the surrogate mother could remain involved in some form. That feels like an enrichment—for the child and for myself as well. When you go through such a special process together, it’s hard for me to imagine anything other than a strong sense of connection emerging.

Of course, this is an assumption, and I approach this with openness and without expectations.

The point is: I believe it can work. That it can be a success. That it will be.

Not because everything will be perfect, but because love, involvement, and perseverance do not require a minimum number of adults.

So here I stand: at the beginning of a great miracle.

An intended father, surrounded by an army that carries me.

Standing alone, but never alone.